How To Teach Your Kids About Oral Sex ? Warning !

Fr-ooze Pop

So, for the second time we have to ask if the people designing products for children are just amazingly naive, or if they're a bunch of giggling stoners seeing what they can get past the marketing team. The Fr-ooze Pop is shaped like a dildo. Fine, you can say that about a lot of food. But if you lick the Fr-ooze Pop enough, a gooey substance squirts into your mouth.

The Fr-ooze Pop was marketed to kids in Singapore using a voice that repeatedly says, "lick it, suck it." Maybe they're just not as cynical as we are over there? And, uh, maybe over there penises work differently?

If so, then what's our excuse for...

By: Unknown On 18.51

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Zombie Babies Dolls

Zombie dolls are creepy new craze that just won’t die! Artist creates 'undead babies' with vampire-like teeth and piercing red eyes

    Bean Shanine, 32, dedicates up to eight hours a day creating the babies
    Reborn dolls are often used by mothers who cannot have children
    The dolls sell for $1,500 (£930) to collectors in the UK and all over the world
    Each doll needs 30 layers of paint and is then baked after every layer

Dedication: From vampire-like teeth to pale skin and piercing red eyes, creative Bean Shanine, 32, dedicates up to eight hours a day bringing to life her zombie babies

An eccentric artist is making a living out of the dead - by creating incredibly spooky zombie dolls which are proving a hit around the world.

From vampire-like teeth to pale skin and piercing red eyes, creative Bean Shanine, 32, dedicates up to eight hours a day bringing to 'life' her zombie babies.

Reborn dolls are often used by mothers who cannot have children, but Ms Shanine insists she receives almost entirely positive comments from people on the internet about her creations.

Her dolls have become so popular that Sharon Osbourne, wife of rocker Ozzy Osbourne, was recently given one on a US chat show - with the former X Factor judge describing it as 'very very well made... but slightly disturbing'.

The mother-of-four, who lives in Washington, USA, made her first monster baby in 2010 as a gift for a friend who takes part in an annual zombie walk in Vancouver, Canada.

But she soon turned her new hobby into a business - The Twisted Bean Stalk Nursery - and sells the creepy creations for as much as $1,500 (£930) to collectors in the UK and all over the world.

She said: 'Before I gave it to my friend I put it on eBay as a test just to see what would happen with a ridiculously high price to make sure it wouldn't sell.

Feedback: The creator insists she receives almost entirely positive comments from people on the internet

'Loads of people started asking when I would make another one as it was so good. I don't think anyone else was really making Reborn zombies and vampires at the time.

'I don't know exactly why I make zombies and vampires because I'm not a dark person at all. They're just different, there wasn't any at the time and the feedback was awesome.

'I have made more than 50 Reborn dolls and have sold every single one of them I have ever listed.

The thing which sets me aside from artists who make monster babies is that mine are genuine Reborn dolls.

'They are realistic and very tastefully done - no blood or guts - just real babies with fangs and glowing eyes. Yes they are creepy but they're really cute at the same time.

'These are expensive to make. People think the $650 starting price is high but it costs hundreds for supplies and big collectors will pay over $1500 if they really want one.

'It's like buying a painting from one of your favourite artists - they are all one of a kind. They are not toys and not suitable for young children to play with either.

'I would say a lot of work goes into making a doll look life-like and real than goes into making the dolls look scary.

'Each doll needs about 30 layers of paint and then you have to bake the doll after every single layer.

'After they are painted, you have to assemble them, add any finishing touches and root hair. If the hair is rooted that takes about eight hours or painting the hair takes about six.

'A lot of time and care goes into each one of my little monster creations.'

And even her own children don't find the bizarre playthings scary.

She added: 'People often ask me how my kids are around the dolls and what they think of them but with a mum who has pink hair and tattoos they can handle some dolls.

'My four-year-old thinks they're cool - most kids these days think zombies are awesome.

'I like to keep them tastefully done, no blood or guts or anything gross like that.

'I love doing what I do and hope people enjoy them just as much as I enjoy spending time making them.'

By: Unknown On 22.54

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Reborn Baby Dolls

Ashton-Drake Announces New Line of Dolls Called "First-Ever so Truly Reborn Baby Doll Collection"

For over 25 years, Ashton-Drake has introduced countless doll collections into the lives of passionate doll collectors everywhere. Ashton-Drake has become synonymous with quality dolls all around the world. A new line of reborn babies called So Truly Reborn is now the latest doll collection released by Ashton-Drake '" just in time for Christmas 2010. Reborn Dolls are so precious and are sure to hold a special place in your heart the moment you lay eyes on them.

The original creator of reborn baby dolls was sculptor and Master Doll Artist Linda Webb. The current collection has been revived by artist Helen Jalland. This Reborn from the Heart Collection is a meticulously designed set of dolls that are of the highest quality imaginable.

The level of craftsmanship and attention to detail that was put into making these reborn babies is nothing short of amazing. One would think a creation like this would cost thousands of dollars judging by other equivalent dolls, but at $179.99 these dolls are a steal! You won't find a realistic, premium quality baby doll at a price like this anywhere else.

The intricate details of the award winning Ashton-Drake So Truly Reborn baby dolls are spectacular. Each lifelike baby doll has vinyl-enhanced layered skin tones, delicate human-like veins, hand-rooted hair, handmade clothing with accent jewels and other fine details, hand painted fingernails and toenails, and the absolute cutest baby eyelashes.

The length from head to toe measures 22 inches or 55.8 centimeters '" just like a real newborn. It will be love at first sight once you have one of these reborn babies in your arms! The delicate details depicted on the So Truly Reborn babies are exactly like you would see on a real infant.

Emily Reborn from the Heart is the first issue of the So Truly Real series. The second issue will be Forever Rose Emily. This special limited edition series has been released to celebrate the 25th Anniversary of Ashton-Drake Galleries. Each doll in the collection comes with a Certificate of Authenticity.

What better Christmas gift for all the doll collectors and little girls in your life than an Ashton-Drake original So Truly reborn baby dolls? At first sight, you will swear it's a real infant! This is a beautiful addition to any doll collector's collection. At this price, it would be wise to order now before the supply runs out during the upcoming Christmas rush.

By: Unknown On 02.31

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How They Teach Oral Sex

"I'm Mr. Bucket, Balls Pop Out of My Mouth"

 You can't blame the toy designers for this one. But somewhere, a disgruntled former jingle writer is still laughing about the time he was having a shitty day at work and just to be an ass he wrote this jingle:

I'm Mr. Bucket, toss your balls in my top
I'm Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop
I'm Mr. Bucket, we're all gonna run
I'm Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun!
I'm Mr. Bucket, balls pop out of my mouth
I'm Mr. Bucket, a ball is what I'm about
I'm Mr. Bucket, we're all gonna run
I'm Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun!

By: Unknown On 22.27

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Sperm Attack

Ah, that doesn't look too bad. Some kind of squirt gun, right? Well, here's a picture of what it looks like to be shot by The Oozinator...

A picture is worth a thousand words, and that's good because actually typing a description of what appears to be happening to the child in the above picture on an Internet site is most likely a felony in all 50 states. We will say this though: That's not water. It's "ooze."

By: Unknown On 22.19

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Jurassic Park Australia

Palmer buys 100 'dinosaurs' from China

Clive Palmer has ordered more than 100 mechanical dinosaurs from China, slowly turning his dream of a jurassic park at his Coolum resort into a reality.

The billionaire has confirmed the order, with his latest dinosaur, a 20-metre long and 3.5-metre high Deinosuchus, due to arrive by the end of next month.

The early relative of the crocodile will be the third of a planned 165 dinosaurs to be added to the dinosaur park, which is scheduled to open later this year on the grounds of the Palmer Coolum Resort.

Mr Palmer said the next shipment would include a 1200 kilogram brachiosaurus and a 7 metre tall mamenchisaurus - both tall plant-eating reptiles.
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The animals, which will be displayed in the woodlands around the resort, will sway their tails, heave their chests and blink.

The park was started with a life-size T-rex which Mr Palmer dubbed Jeff, widely seen as a dig at Deputy Premier Jeff Seeney.

"The Deinosuchus, whose name translates as 'terrible crocodile', was one of the biggest prehistoric crocodiles that ever lived," the statement announcing the latest addition said.

"Apart from its sheer size, the Deinosuchus is very similar to today's crocodiles, illustrating how little evolution has taken place in the species over millions of years."

Mr Palmer made an application to the Sunshine Coast Council last year to turn part of the Coolum resort's golf course into a dinosaur park.

The move was labelled "tacky" by one councillor.

By: Unknown On 00.41

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Vibrator for Kids

The Nimbus 2000

 
Yes, Harry Potter was all the rage back in the day. However, “Rage” was the feeling some parents had when they realized their kids were playing with a lookalike broomstick from the Harry Potter movies.

Why you ask?

Because the broomstick came with a wonderful feature that allowed it to vibrate.

Yes, the Nimbus 2000 was a children’s toy that began to vibrate when it was wedged into the child’s crotch area. It was pulled from the shelves pretty fast. We’re not sure who at Mattel was responsible for letting this one out in the first place.

By: Unknown On 22.52

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Toys from Placentas

The Placenta Teddy Bear

If you think Placentas are gross, you would probably be shock to know that some people (mostly women we think?) eat their placenta after birth. Possibly to be more like the animals in nature or possibly because of the tangy taste is has, were not sure. Either way, you don’t have to worry if cannibalism is not your thing, now there is a way you and your baby can cherish it for a life time.

The Placenta Teddy Bear by Alex Green.

To make one of these cuddly contraptions, you need to dry out the placenta and cure it with sea salt. Then, after it is dried out, you must add an emulsifying mixture of tannin and egg yolk to make is soft and pliable. Then, its just a matter of imagination and a sewing kit!

By: Unknown On 22.41

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How To Be A Stripper

The Peekaboo Stripper Pole…….for Kids!

Yes, it arrived in the U.K. Back in 2006. The peekaboo stripper pole was banned almost immediately. It came complete with a cd of music to strip to, a lacy garter, and a wad of play money, all to be used in conjunction with a collapsible stripper pole.

By: Unknown On 22.39

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How To Shave Pubic Hair for GIRLS

Yes, now you can shave the baby! The Baby’s pubic hair that is…
The Red Headed baby with armpit and genital hair can only be found in Japan (we wonder why?) We’ve heard of toy babies that fill up diapers, burp, and even breast feed, but even we are scratching our heads at this one. There is also some added hair at the sock line for some reason which only leads us to do one thing. Find the Japanese Bable bot translation for “What the hell were you guys thinking?”

By: Unknown On 00.58

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The Secret to Learn How To Be A Professional Hot Stripteaser

Pole Dance Doll

The keywords on the box read "Interesting," "Flash," and "Up and Down," which sound like they were written by the happiest pedophile in playland.  These extra

By: Unknown On 23.31

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Poltergeist TV

TV Poltergeist Phantom Prank Device
We know that April Fool’s Day is just less than a week away, so why not be well prepared with the TV Poltergeist Phantom Prank Device from ThinkGeek? For $12.99, you can always drive the resident couch potato mad and perhaps even have him/her call in an exorcist. Why do we say so? This unique device is capable of turning the TV on and off at completely random intervals every 5 to 20 minutes round the clock, for weeks on end as long as the trio of AA batteries powering it isn’t dead. Of course, you must have a pretty cluttered living room for this to work simply because it will need to have its LED aimed at the TV directly all the time, so a neat, well kept house would make it easier for the culprit to be identified.

By: Unknown On 23.12

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Rocket Penis

Punisher Shape Shifters Crotch Rocket

 Wait, seriously? That's a real toy? It was so disturbing, we assumed it was Photoshop.

Man, this is not a good start. We came in assuming most of this stuff was just the result of innocent oversight, but this? Why does the projectile have to be coming from his crotch? His chest is free. His abs have a skull-mouth emblazoned across them. Why not there? If the rocket came shooting out of the teeth of a grinning skull on the Punisher's stomach, that would be terrifying; as it is now it just looks like he's happy to see you...to death.

To be fair, this was part of a "Shape Shifter" line of toys--basically a Punisher transformer--and we're catching him in mid-transformation (we're assuming Frank Castle's transforming capabilities aren't canon). And of course once he's fully transformed the toy looks perfectly innocent.

OK, that's just...that's just horrible.

By: Unknown On 23.07

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How To Teach Your Daughter About Sex And Penis

Dora Aquapet

What exactly is Dora exploring here? Besides the shaft of a dong, that is.

By: Unknown On 19.12

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Batman Is A Gay

Batman Water Gun

A small custom Batman water pistol is not necessarily sexual, but this toy comes out of the Wayne Manor walk-in closet when you begin to use it. Simply remove Batman's butt plug, fill with water, cock, and squeeze the trigger, and shoot your pals with a quick load to the face. Keep it moving, nothing suggestive here!

By: Unknown On 19.06

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The Top Secrets How to Get a Man to Marry You

It's the home pregnancy test that is always positive! Ladies, now you can find out if you've found Mr. Right with this hilarious prank! Will he stick with you if he thinks things will get complicated? This outrageous prank will have your guy sweating! Or sleep with your married boss and watch him squirm (Maybe you'll get a raise!) The laughs are endless!

By: Unknown On 19.04

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